THE_REAL_SHAT

Aug 19

How to stay cool in Florida when the air conditioning goes out.

How to stay cool in Florida when the air conditioning goes out.

No, Pepperidge Farm. NO!

No, Pepperidge Farm. NO!

Aug 17

This post reminded me about the time I went to the optometrist and the alarm system keypad was open to reveal their new code under a Post-It note, and the easily-deduced code that it was changed from (2040*) because of the wear on the buttons and the dirty residue around the buttons.
* 20/40 vision is a little worse than 20/20 vision. When I went to look for this three-year-old picture, my memory of it was that the only buttons that had wear were the 2 and the 0, which is a much funnier picture to post. C’est la vie.

This post reminded me about the time I went to the optometrist and the alarm system keypad was open to reveal their new code under a Post-It note, and the easily-deduced code that it was changed from (2040*) because of the wear on the buttons and the dirty residue around the buttons.

* 20/40 vision is a little worse than 20/20 vision. When I went to look for this three-year-old picture, my memory of it was that the only buttons that had wear were the 2 and the 0, which is a much funnier picture to post. C’est la vie.

Aug 11

Home is where the hard is.

Home is where the hard is.

Aug 10

tj:

rick2u:

Mind the Gap

1. Flashback to that episode of Homicide (if you’ve seen it then you know which one I mean)
2. Whoa.
Update: Saw that scholvin had the same memory.
By the way, if you have seen The Wire but not Homicide, you really should fix that.

I haven’t seen Homicide, but I saw the episode of Taxicab Confessions from which the producers of Homicide got the idea. 
Taxicab Confessions was a show on HBO in the 90s in which a cab was hooked up with multiple cameras and the drivers got people to talk about their lives. People were very candid because cab drivers are like bartenders, except that no one else is around to overhear what they share.
TRIGGER WARNING: GROSS STUFF AHEAD
The episode in question had a police rescue squad officer who’s been on the force for a long time. The driver asked him what was the worst way to die. He said there are people who fall between the train and the platform as the train is moving. The lower torso gets twisted around like when you close a bread bag. They aren’t in pain because the spine is severed. They think they are just stuck, but as soon as they are freed, their innards would spill out and they’d die. There is no way to save them. They keep them there until their family can come to say goodbye. 
Life is a tenuous thing. Enjoy it while you’re here.

tj:

rick2u:

Mind the Gap

1. Flashback to that episode of Homicide (if you’ve seen it then you know which one I mean)

2. Whoa.

Update: Saw that scholvin had the same memory.

By the way, if you have seen The Wire but not Homicide, you really should fix that.

I haven’t seen Homicide, but I saw the episode of Taxicab Confessions from which the producers of Homicide got the idea. 

Taxicab Confessions was a show on HBO in the 90s in which a cab was hooked up with multiple cameras and the drivers got people to talk about their lives. People were very candid because cab drivers are like bartenders, except that no one else is around to overhear what they share.

TRIGGER WARNING: GROSS STUFF AHEAD

The episode in question had a police rescue squad officer who’s been on the force for a long time. The driver asked him what was the worst way to die. He said there are people who fall between the train and the platform as the train is moving. The lower torso gets twisted around like when you close a bread bag. They aren’t in pain because the spine is severed. They think they are just stuck, but as soon as they are freed, their innards would spill out and they’d die. There is no way to save them. They keep them there until their family can come to say goodbye. 

Life is a tenuous thing. Enjoy it while you’re here.

(Source: ForGIFs.com)

luckyshirt:

tastefullyoffensive:

[theonion]

Unless you’ve go some VERY comfortable chairs, do not ever, EVER get me started on this.

Keep Moving and Get Out of the Way

luckyshirt:

tastefullyoffensive:

[theonion]

Unless you’ve go some VERY comfortable chairs, do not ever, EVER get me started on this.

Keep Moving and Get Out of the Way

(Source: theonion)

Aug 04

[video]

Aug 03

[video]

apricotica:

Nachos are already a perfect food. This is scientific fact. But apparently there are ways to make them better than perfect if you use the right tortilla chips.

Nachos that make you want to eat more nachos. Quite possibly the world’s most devious food.

apricotica:

Nachos are already a perfect food. This is scientific fact. But apparently there are ways to make them better than perfect if you use the right tortilla chips.

Nachos that make you want to eat more nachos. Quite possibly the world’s most devious food.

Aug 02

High sodium in soy sauce causes dead cuttlefish’s nerves to become active and spasm. | uberHumor.com -

NOPE

People who block reblogs sure are missing a lot of fine silliness.

That is all.

abundanceofcalm:

My friend’s family is Old Money. They live in a very beautiful building on LSD, overlooking a marina.
Tonight, I have a great view of the winding traffic and I’ll be lulled to sleep by the sounds.
Tomorrow, I’ll have a bedroom with a four-poster bed and windows that go to the ceiling.
Tonight, I wish I had packed proper pajamas. Yikes. But I’m so very grateful to stay with friends instead of a hotel. It is always so kind of them to extend this offer.
Goodnight, you city lights.

"A very beautiful building on LSD”

abundanceofcalm:

My friend’s family is Old Money. They live in a very beautiful building on LSD, overlooking a marina.

Tonight, I have a great view of the winding traffic and I’ll be lulled to sleep by the sounds.

Tomorrow, I’ll have a bedroom with a four-poster bed and windows that go to the ceiling.

Tonight, I wish I had packed proper pajamas. Yikes. But I’m so very grateful to stay with friends instead of a hotel. It is always so kind of them to extend this offer.

Goodnight, you city lights.

"A very beautiful building on LSD”

[video]

[video]

lindstifa:

1,685 cheeses entered in the American Cheese Society’s annual judging and competition, all available for tasting at The Festival of Cheese. I am so. Full.

Wow. I had no idea there were that many kinds of American cheese. I hope Kraft Singles wins. Did you know there’s a glass of milk in every slice? Amazing!

lindstifa:

1,685 cheeses entered in the American Cheese Society’s annual judging and competition, all available for tasting at The Festival of Cheese.

I am so. Full.

Wow. I had no idea there were that many kinds of American cheese. I hope Kraft Singles wins. Did you know there’s a glass of milk in every slice? Amazing!