THE_REAL_SHAT

Haggar Physicists Develop 'Quantum Slacks'

This is still my favorite Onion article ever, probably because I read a lot of science news. Oh yeah, and I’m silly.

When I first encountered it, my girlfriend wanted to know why I was laughing so hard so I tried to read it to her, but I couldn’t get through it. I eventually made it through but I was crying and my stomach hurt.

Maybe I’m overselling it, but these are my favorite parts:

The only danger, he noted, is the prospect of creating anti-pants. This would derail the experiment by annihilating any pants the original pair comes into contact with, leaving only nude space.

Anti-pants! ANTI-PANTS! Just try saying that with a straight face. You can’t.

Also:

We are on the verge of unzipping the secrets of creation and peering into the pants of God Himself.

I’m so sick of smug physicists -cough- Michio Kaku -cough- talking about “seeing into the mind of God Himself.” It’s a ridiculous statement that doesn’t help regular people understand the concepts. “Peering into the pants of God Himself,” however, is brilliant.

Source: The Onion