THE_REAL_SHAT

Obama’s Second-Term Victory Is Ice Cream

Re-electing Barack Obama was a bigger victory than simply putting a check mark in the “W” column. (Shit. I just reminded myself of the last guy. [SHUDDER])

It’s a gigantic victory. It’s SWEET victory. Why is it sweeter than just a plain old victory? The stage is set by what Obama inherited:

Economic Disaster - Speaking of the last guy, Dubya inherited the biggest surplus in history and converted it into the biggest deficit in history. He shoveled money from a full vault into the overstuffed pockets of fat cats and into two useless, immoral, unwinnable wars, and kept digging until the hole in the floor of the vault was as big as the pile of money that had been in it. Dubya left that giant economic hole to his successor.
Ongoing Wars - The trickiest part of unwinnable wars is getting out of them. Dubya left that shitty task to his successor.

Due to the havoc Dubya wreaked on America, and the commensurate repercussions, the GOP didn’t want to win the 2008 election. That’s right. They didn’t want to win.

They planned to blame the Democratic winner for all of the country’s problems, block anything he or she wanted to do, and be sitting pretty four years later to easily win in 2012 and take credit for the inevitable upturn in the economy.

Crazy, you say? Check this out:

The candidate the GOP put forth was short, old, decrepit, facially asymmetrical, and blinky as hell. The stress of the presidency probably would have killed him. Which brings up his running mate: A corrupt, vindictive Barbie-doll hockey mom with a shocking lack of knowledge about the world (and proud of it) and an accent that turbocharged her very evident stupidity and shallowness.

Sure they wanted to win. But the GOP didn’t want them to win.

But now… NOW.

It’s 2012 and the GOP really wants to win. They are supposed to win. It’s self-evident that they will win. They could taste it. They were salivating.

It reminds me of Eddie Murphy’s bit about ice cream from Delirious. The Republicans are the kid who has the ice cream, taunting the kid who doesn’t have any ice cream “because you are on the welllffaarre!” They danced around ecstatically with the ice cream in their grasp until the ice cream fell on the ground and they stood there dejected.

And the welfare kid danced and sang.

That’s why this win is so sweet and delicious.