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Q:I've been on Tumblr too long to not be skittish around the phrase "nut mittens". Even when toasted oats are involved.

pinkabrinka

Ah yes. Good catch. Most people are unaware that nut mittens are the male equivalent of the merkin. Lots of guys these days have been influenced by porn movies and shave their junk. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… It’s breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

But if you do, beware: It has led to a growing number of cases of testicular hypothermia, colloquially known as “snow balls.” For those who enjoy the sleek, aerodynamic functionality of bald balls, nut mittens have become an indispensable fashion accessory.

Plus, they’re great stocking stuffers! Give the gift that keeps on giving. Get nut mittens for friends and family, eight to eighty.

Brought to you by NutMitCo, a division of NadMat.

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  1. smartasshat posted this