“I’m not even supposed to be here today!”
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to make gas station bathroom lanyards out of disgusting germ-sponging yard. #bathroomsofamerica
Aren’t you supposed to be brushing your teeth?
I got a message today telling me there is a woman dramatically reading my burrito rant on YouTube.
At first I thought that would be fun to watch.
Then I watched it. And she does a better job reading it than I would have.
Then I existential crisised.
Required viewing.
Seriously.
Hate if you reblog hating.
What.
To make up for all this personal writing, here’s your Dead Squirrel and Poking Stick kit. I forgot I got it for you for Christmas.
SQUIRREL!
Stupid movie, making me have feelings. Feelings! The nerve.
(Call me, George!)
At least he’s not putting his feet up on his luggage. Then it would be a disaster movie.
