THANKS OBAMA!
This is why it’s important to have the correct nutrition information readily available. Taco.
In my previous post of Bruce torture, I used the punchline from this fantastic news blooper. It’s my go-to reply when I don’t know the answer to a question.
After watching this, it’ll be yours, too.
Ad for the local news at 10:00:
“Chilly opening day for baseball; find out how long this cold snap will last, tonight at ten.”
Me: BEEP BLOOP BLORP *taps weather app on my cellular telephone* OH OK SO WEDNESDAY.
Sorry, local news. I’m not eighty years old so I’m not held to your rules about when I can and cannot find out the weather forecast.
I had the same thoughts about a weird news story the local TEAM NEWS COVERAGE teased at the end of a show I was watching. They don’t realize it, but they are giving people the perfect Google search terms to find out about the story themselves.
Thanks, and good luck with that sensationalism of yours. I’m sure it’ll all work out great.
244 Characters
This Boston station spent the first sixteen of their twenty five minute “news”cast on the Patriots game. The only way I’d want to see that much coverage of millionaires getting concussions is if that shoe had connected with Bush’s empty noggin.
The news today: This Texan for Obama is singing the National Anthem at President Obama’s second inauguration. (!!)
Oh, Maria…
(via yodelmachine)
Source: beyonce
![Barack Obama Wins Second Term, Faux News Implodes
2:26:50 / 1.23 GB / H.264 MP4
Here’s a link to download the Faux News coverage from the moment they announce that Obama won (at 11:14 pm) to the end of Obama’s fantastic acceptance speech at 2:00 am.
I happened to start recording the exact moment they announced it, and Obama ended his speech just before 2 am, when the DVR stopped recording because the TV schedule said the show was over.
I removed all the commercials and left everything else. It’s all just too good. There is nothing I could cut out. The absolute highlight is Karl Rove on live TV struggling with the reality of Obama’s second-term victory. The rest is pretty sweet, too. You can see the formation of the Conservative excuses and complaints before they’ve been polished by the central braintrust. Plus, the commentators are forced to acknowledge that Nate Silver and others were dead-on with their fact-based predictions. Unfolding right before your eyes, the whole Conservative anti-reality bubble is popped suddenly and violently in their faces.
It’s a lot like a super-slow-motion video of a water balloon when it’s popped. The thin shell holding their wacky beliefs together is pulled back, and they slowly deform and fall to the floor and go KA-PLOOSH all over themselves.
I want to describe more of it, but I think the best way to express how much I love this is to show you the tweets inspired by watching this:
Why is the Faux News anchor guy wearing a hard hat?
Just like Romney’s huge blunder in the second debate, the GOP’s fatal flaw is their anti-reality bubble. Keep on truckin’, Faux News!
It’s priceless to watch Karl Rove struggle as he chokes on Romney’s loss. Priceless.
Tagg just punched a map of Ohio.
Here’s the difference: Obama knows the job and does it. Romney thinks the job should be to do nothing.
ICK! Karl Rove uses a Mac! BRB Reevaluating everything.
THIS JUST IN: Mitt Romney has been programmed to give a concession speech at 12:55 am EDT.
[At 12:55 on the dot] Romney’s internal atomic clock is functional.
Mitt Romney has successfully fulfilled his family tradition of losing presidential elections. Tagg, you’re it.
The Faux News anti-reality bubble is still in full effect. They’re wondering if Obama will finally be willing to compromise in his 2nd term.
I can report with confidence that I do not have a genie because no one from FOXNews is currently sucking my dick.
Posting this video for you all to enjoy was made possible by:
ReplayTV - The original TiVo competitor which hooks directly into the home network
DVArchive - A free Java-based program that fools the ReplayTV into thinking your computer is another ReplayTV. It’s how I transfer recordings to the computer.
HandBrake - The program I use to transcode ReplayTV files.
VideoLAN - Also known as VLC. HandBrake uses codecs contained in VLC to do its thang.
MPEG Streamclip - Allows native editing of video files, including H.264. I removed the commercials with it.
Dropbox - The video is in my Dropbox public folder (download). You can get your own Dropbox at the link.
Skydrive - The video can also be downloaded from Skydrive here.
And jokers like you - You guys make life fun by being all funny and interesting and shit.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md5325Uaga1qza5g2o1_1280.png)
Barack Obama Wins Second Term, Faux News Implodes
2:26:50 / 1.23 GB / H.264 MP4
Here’s a link to download the Faux News coverage from the moment they announce that Obama won (at 11:14 pm) to the end of Obama’s fantastic acceptance speech at 2:00 am.
I happened to start recording the exact moment they announced it, and Obama ended his speech just before 2 am, when the DVR stopped recording because the TV schedule said the show was over.
I removed all the commercials and left everything else. It’s all just too good. There is nothing I could cut out. The absolute highlight is Karl Rove on live TV struggling with the reality of Obama’s second-term victory. The rest is pretty sweet, too. You can see the formation of the Conservative excuses and complaints before they’ve been polished by the central braintrust. Plus, the commentators are forced to acknowledge that Nate Silver and others were dead-on with their fact-based predictions. Unfolding right before your eyes, the whole Conservative anti-reality bubble is popped suddenly and violently in their faces.
It’s a lot like a super-slow-motion video of a water balloon when it’s popped. The thin shell holding their wacky beliefs together is pulled back, and they slowly deform and fall to the floor and go KA-PLOOSH all over themselves.
I want to describe more of it, but I think the best way to express how much I love this is to show you the tweets inspired by watching this:
Why is the Faux News anchor guy wearing a hard hat?
It’s priceless to watch Karl Rove struggle as he chokes on Romney’s loss. Priceless.
Tagg just punched a map of Ohio.
ICK! Karl Rove uses a Mac! BRB Reevaluating everything.
THIS JUST IN: Mitt Romney has been programmed to give a concession speech at 12:55 am EDT.
[At 12:55 on the dot] Romney’s internal atomic clock is functional.
Posting this video for you all to enjoy was made possible by:
- ReplayTV - The original TiVo competitor which hooks directly into the home network
- DVArchive - A free Java-based program that fools the ReplayTV into thinking your computer is another ReplayTV. It’s how I transfer recordings to the computer.
- HandBrake - The program I use to transcode ReplayTV files.
- VideoLAN - Also known as VLC. HandBrake uses codecs contained in VLC to do its thang.
- MPEG Streamclip - Allows native editing of video files, including H.264. I removed the commercials with it.
- Dropbox - The video is in my Dropbox public folder (download). You can get your own Dropbox at the link.
- Skydrive - The video can also be downloaded from Skydrive here.
- And jokers like you - You guys make life fun by being all funny and interesting and shit.
Source: smartasshat
Fox “News” hedges their bets.
This is not The Onion.
THIS IS NOT THE ONION.
THIS IS NOT THE ONION!
THIS! IS NOT! THE ONION!!
(via aimeenoodle)
Source: videohall
![kellydeal:
[Herman Cain’s] website just went live with a new “Women For Cain” section where female supporters can share their stories —and slam his accusers as “vindictive,” “jealous,” “unstable,” and “husbandless.”
“Husbandless”
For. Fuck’s. Sake.
What, no “barren”?](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvl8m4reJS1qz9m0ho1_1280.jpg)
[Herman Cain’s] website just went live with a new “Women For Cain” section where female supporters can share their stories —and slam his accusers as “vindictive,” “jealous,” “unstable,” and “husbandless.”
“Husbandless”
For. Fuck’s. Sake.
What, no “barren”?
Source: 2012.talkingpointsmemo.com
Now we know where the “Does spelling count?” dummies from school ended up.
Now they say, “Spell-check will fix it.”
How can we entrust robots to annihilate all humans and take over the world if they can’t even get news stories straight?
New Estimate for Alien Earths: 2 Billion in Our Galaxy Alone
Roughly one out of every 37 to one out of every 70 sunlike stars in the sky might harbor an alien Earth, a new study reveals.
These findings hint that billions of Earthlike planets might exist in our galaxy, researchers added.
Can Science find out for me if there’s one that doesn’t have any batshit-crazy Tea Birthers? I’d like to live on that one, please.
(via mfsb)
Source: itsfullofstars
You might want to tweak your algorithm, Google News.
Attention Fox Nation: There Is More Than One Version Of The Bible | Media Matters for America
tj:
You might think it would be difficult for conservative smear merchants to continue to cast doubt on Obama’s faith when he calls Jesus Christ “my lord and Savior,” like he did at yesterday’s annual National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC.. But, as “news” outlets like Fox Nation have shown time and again, they have absolutely no standards and are willing to manufacture scandals out of thin air when reality doesn’t coincide with their chosen narrative.
If you visit Fox Nation right now, you are greeted by the following story on their front page:
If you follow the link, you are taken to a page on Fox Nation that claims Obama “misquoted a familiar Bible verse” during his address yesterday.
Somewhat ironically, while Fox Nation appears to be positioning themselves as the arbiters of authentic Christianity, they seem unfamiliar with the fact that there is more than one version of the Bible.
Obama was quoting from the New International Version, while Fox Nation was pointing to the King James Version to “debunk” him.
This would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic.
Because we all know that the Isaiahs wrote in Elizabethan English, right?
*EPIC FACEPALM*
The number of people who believe that the KJV version of the Bible is the One True Standard is beyond belief.
“Version” is right in the name.
Duh.
Source: undercovernun
