This ancient incantation was heard from the Dean of the College of Cardinals as the cardinal-electors moved to the Conclave to blaze up for as long as it takes for the Sticky-Icky-Jesus-Freaky weed-smoke to turn white.
Only then will then the Cardinals be mellow enough to agree on a new Pope.
Possible final tweets for the resigning Pope
- In nomine Patris et Filii et Peace Out, Bitches!
- Who’s got two thumbs, a kick-ass hat, God as his Wingman, and is quitting work?
- I’m taking the Popemobile with me.
- I can no longer, in good conscience, associate myself with an organization that prohibits marriage equality and whose backwards views on women’s rights are insulting to humankind.
- Budweiser Time, motherfuckers!
Pope - OUT!
You think you know flame wars? Just wait.
I’m not quitting. I’m taking my papacy private.
Where’s my gold watch? Just kidding. Everything I have is solid gold.
*drops thurible* *exits balcony*
Aaaaannnd the photo-reply feature just paid for itself.