Hot on the heels of Merlin and John’s excellent discussion of how dangerous bears are (Roderick on the Line #69 “Campfire Spaghetti Party”), I get this message on my answering machine today from the local police about a bear that’s been seen in my neighborhood. He even names my street.
A bear. In my neighborhood. ON MY STREET. GAH!
He goes on to say you should supervise children that you like during outdoor activities, and if you encounter the bear, clap your hands or sing. What the hell? So, if the bear likes your singing, he won’t rip you to pieces? Is he the reincarnated Roger Ebert?
Well, to be fair, my singing would repel any fish, fur, or fowl.
Maybe the police should have suggested throwing a sneaker at him.
I’m The Grocery Store Rammer.
Keep moving and get out of the way.
If you’re going to pump chili, you might as well dance and sing this song while you pump it. (And really, now that I said that, how can you not?) You may even get it for free.*
* It’s already free.
Yellow Cheese Nips? Definitely ping-pong.
