My name is Col David Johnson; I am an American soldier, serving in the military with the army’s 4th Battalion, 64th Armored Regiment. I need your assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. As far as my situation here is concern reaching out via this medium is personally considered safest and the cheapest means of reaching out to you from the U.S.Military base here in the Middle East.From all indications you are God sent, with the way and how lucky I was to get your e-mail contact address from the U.S. military base library address journal through my online search just a few minutes ago.I am seeking your kind assistance to move the sum of (US$22MILLION) to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here in Afghanistan. This money was discovered in Iraq in 2003, and the above mentioned amount was given to me as my personal share by my battalion, which includes (Staff Sgt.Kenneth Buff & Sgt.Van Daniel Ess).The amount (US$24MILLION) was part of money we got when we were in Iraq. Please visit any of the bellow website http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm and [another site]. With the speculated troop withdrawal by president Obama, I want to move this money to you for safe keeping pending the completion of my assignment in Afghanistan.But, my question is ‘CAN I TRUST YOU”?. You will be rewarded with 40% of this fund for your help. Please respond to personal E-mail ID for further details.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Col David Johnson
I’m still getting spam calls for Trevor about being approved for an auto loan. I have no idea how this benefits them. Do they think people are going to call back and say, “I’m not Trevor, but I’ll take his loan!”
I finally got fed up with them. I decided to call them (at (508) 857-3943) and ask for Trevor. I’m going to continue asking for Trevor for quite a while (blocking my caller ID with *67, of course). Then at some point in the future, I’ll call as Trevor and ask if I have any messages.
Perhaps there will be messages from all around the country. Who knows?
Here’s one of the scam voicemails I posted about the other day. It’s hard to tell, but I think he’s leaving the message for Trevor. It doesn’t make any sense to get so specific when you’re trying to scam someone. Maybe market research shows that Trevors are the most gullible. Who knows?
Another fun part of this is seeing what Google Voice thinks they said. Here’s the transcript:
This message is intended for share more saying bye. No, failed. Bill Ray’s second news for you this message. I need to you or your agent at charity for a goods to return the call. The issue it and it’s extremely time them to you. My Nana’s logged on, and number to reach me is 951, hey. That, 185-0012. I repeat, it’s 9518 say, 185072 just in the car and ask for a journey that stickers. Thank you.
We have the same surname! Sounds legit….
Dear Amanda Shankle-Knowlton,
I am Jingbo Yu (Chief audit officer - China Construction Bank). I am contacting you regarding a transfer of USD18million that was deposited by our Late customer (Alfred Shankle-Knowlton) who died without declaring any next of kin. My suggestion is for you to stand as his Next-Of-Kin since you bear the same surname.We shall then share in the ratio of 50% for me, 50% for you.
That’s so weird! I got one just like this! It’s pretty cool that there are other people out there with the last name “Asshat”.
spam spam spam spam spam and flapjacks
What is your favorite cartoon character?
I just want to point out to those who think otherwise that the Flapjack and Adventure Time spam bots who are dumping questions in your ask box are NOT spamming for the actual television shows. I don’t think Flapjack is even making new episodes.
For those who are still at this point unaware, these are spam bots that just want you to click on the link to their tumblr, which is rife with ads - some of them sidebar ads, some of them intrusive things that pop up on your screen if you have forgotten to install some kind of ad block in Chrome like me (rectifying now).
You all need to stop answering their questions seriously, too. These “people” are not your friends, they are not real tumblrs, they are not interested in the answers to your questions at all. They are interested only in how many times you click on to their page and how many times you view or click the ads there.
They are scum. They are the bottom feeders of the internet. They represent all the people who, instead of going out and getting real jobs, try to find a way to siphon money off of unsuspecting people on the internet because they’d rather sit around and think up get rich quick schemes than do anything that would make them a productive member of society.
Remember kids, only you can prevent spam bots from being successful. Don’t answer their questions. Don’t click on their pages. Report them as spam. Delete their questions from your ask page. Wish venereal diseases upon their nether regions. Just don’t take their bait.