1. I just finished Season 1 of Orphan Black, and guys. Guys. GUYS. Where has this show been all my life. It is perfect (well, except for the actor who plays Paul, who was definitely hired for his cheekbones—they’re very nice cheekbones, I’m not complaining, but please get better at acting, sir, because your character got interesting and your delivery can’t keep up) and I love it.
2. I got a new computer! Lisa the netbook is on her last legs, so I sold my soul to our evil Google overlords and bought a Chromebook. I really like it so far, but it’s totally silent—there’s no fan noise at all—which is slightly unnerving. I’m afraid to name it Bart, because that’s just asking for it to act up, but the iPad is Maggie, my old Dell was Homer, and it doesn’t feel like a Marge, so, Santa’s Little Helper it is.
3. I’ll put this delicately, so as not to upset my more sensitive readers: I have cramps that would kill a mule and I want to rip out my uterus and set it on fire.
How about Flanders? It’s predictable, quiet, and reliable, and it needs to call on a higher power when the going gets tough.
Sorry about your menses.