I just DIYd myself into a sex coma
Whenever I have penis again, I hope my vagina doesn’t get scared and run away since it’s been so long.
Also, I totally used the term DIY orgasm with my gynecologist today.
I once described the timing of something to my female doctor as “Ever since Mother Nature said, ‘Shake hands with Mr. Happy!’”
It was a Robin Williams line. She didn’t crack a smile.
Baked Brian Williams agrees with Robofrakkin.
I had to post this because animated GIFs don’t do it justice. You have to hear their tones of voice.
I left in the stuff after a minute and a half because it’s pretty good, too, but that Brian Williams thing is THE BEST. I cried I was laughing so hard replaying it over and over.
AND I WASN’T EVEN POTTED UP ON WEED!
Him: You really want me to put Ted Williams on top of the tree?
Me: Um, yes.
Him: Why don’t you put an angel up there?
Me: Because an angel never hit .406.
Can you just get his head and put it up there?